However, I constantly look at Onineko's point of view of raiding and think how I would be feeling in their position.
There are two conflicting things right now are:
- My own guildies being left out when they would like to (and are capable of) raiding
- An obligation to Onineko because we did start this mythic thing together and it seems unfair to have them sit out after they helped get it off the ground
Their tank has to DPS. The numbers they can bring are reduced. As far as I can tell, no officers are attending - though Peggy has Rank 2 status in Oni (which in Frostwolves is an officer rank) so perhaps he is one. If I put myself in that perspective, I would be not healing, I'd be DPSing, and it would be ugly. I'd look like a lousy player and probably feel like one too. Though, I would enjoy the raiding, and it would be a different challenge for me trying to better myself (or face the unhappy possibility that I wouldn't be allowed to raid because I'm such a carry).
We now field 14 Frostwolves regularly, with 5-6 Onineko players. This week they brought a mage guildie who they said was quite good, but she was a bit undergeared for mythic compared to the rest of us. I don't mind who comes, but one of their other players was not responding to tells, and the raid was filling quickly. I can't wait for people, it's first come first served. Unless you tell me you are going to be late, then I will not hold a place for you. And that happened to our own guildies too!
Bish was late, and I didn't even know if he was going to be on or not. Raid was full and I had to tell him he couldn't come, even though we could have used the extra healer for council. Actually, we probably NEEDED him for council, but I make no exceptions and Bish did say he was tired, after a long 13 hour day. After playing with him for 10 years, I know that if he's tired now, he will be a pumpkin at 10pm. I told him to go and sleep.
However, there were late people on the Onineko side also. One of them was rather disgruntled at being left out and told me that they were unhappy about that when I whispered him with a solution - perhaps he could discuss with the mage who came and swap with them for their spot since he was raiding mythic previously and she wasn't (and I didn't think she'd mind), but he said he didn't want to join us for raids anymore. I accepted that matter-of-factly. It did make me worry though, if their disgruntledness would affect the others who were coming along.
I like that with my own guildies I can enforce some sort of attendance responsibility (and it works vice versa because they will wake me up if I've fallen asleep before raid time). I message them on Facebook, I call them on their phones, I dig them up on their alts on battlenet. And I can do that because they are my own guild. It also means they all know the consequences of their own actions. AFK more than 2 minutes and we drop you from raid. Turn up late to raid without warning then we assume you're not coming and replace you accordingly. But the long arm of Navi does not extend to other guilds.
I have done my best to make a raid work with what I have. It may seem mercenary of me to ask the remaining Barthilas people to come, but I like them, and they are welcome. I'm not trying to push them away, but I am trying to preserve my own guild so I have to preference my own people and raiders at the moment - well, at least the reliable ones! So far, Nez, Sonu, Peggy, Angry and Ang are constants that always come, so I always leave room for those 5 because they are super reliable. Angry missed one raid because he was late, playing some other game and maybe lost track of time and raid got filled, but since that time he has been ready well before raid time. Peggy is so eager that he hammers Xyn with invite spam and promotes as soon as the clock hits 845pm. You can't say that they're not ready to go. I treat them like surrogate guildies - I think of it a bit like school vacation care. These guys are here on holidays and I gotta keep them entertained, safe, happy and out of trouble until their parents come to take them home.
You know, I always feel a bit sad when someone is unhappy, and I tried to put myself in his place. If I was supposed to raid and I was late and missed out on a spot would I be upset and say I would not raid again? Personally, I would just make the effort to turn up earlier and be ready the next time. But that's just me. I can't imagine any of my guildies having a hissy fit for being left out for being late, because they'd know the onus was on them. Perhaps it was because that person had missed out a few raids now. Maybe they were like Moo, looking for an excuse to stop playing, with mythic being the only tether holding them tentatively to the game.
Right now our guild is doing its best to keep the guild busy and active. And it is. The socials have really boosted the guild activity. Social raids are going (even though it's Mythic difficulty but it's at a level where we are still overgearing it but still have some challenge to make it rather satisfying when we conquer stuff - more on that in another post) and everyone is having fun. I should be focussing on that. My main priority is my guild, my guild's morale and the guild environment. It feels like a better place now than it was in the 2 weeks after the announcement of the possible release date of Legion. If I focus on that, the positive, then it helps wash away the doubts and uncertainties that niggle in the corners of my mind. And I know that my optimism will get me through everything crappy that gets thrown my way.