There's a new Officer in the House
Congrats to Hwired for being promoted to the prestigious rank of Officer! This is for his dedication and commitment to raiding, his reliability and good naturedness, and great leadership skills.
Examples of his dedication:
You may THINK this is a great honour, being an officer, but in reality this is what it means:
Scenario 1
Shiny loot drops!
Raider - I'd like to send a tell please
Officer - F%&^ 3 people sent me a tell, and the dkp isn't up to date, who the hell was supposed to be doing DKP yesterday? Yes you already sent me a tell, I'm still checking DKP!
Scenario 2
It's the 10th wipe on a new boss.
Raider - God, XX player you're supposed to be doing YY.
Officer - /thinks to self - God, the whole bunch of you you're supposed to be doing ZZ you idiotic retards, did you not hear me the first 10 times
Scenario 3
Someone is being really loud on vent.
Raider - /can't get a word in
Officer - /w XX - would you please stop pissing everyone off on Vent you're talking over me, I can't hear what people are saying, and I'm going to tell everyone to mute you in a second
Scenario 4
Someone is not pulling their weight in raid
Raider - I was with that person last week
Officer - /sorts through the 12 tells that say that they had to raid with that person last week (and it was a 10 man)
Scenario 5
We are short a tank/healer/dps
Raider - I sat out last week
Officer - /sigh alright I'll respec for the 20th time. GDI the guild bank doesn't pay for respecs /grumble
Scenario 6
Sorting the out raid groups
Raider - /w officer: I want to be with XX, and I don't like playing with YY
(below conversation in officer channel)
Officer - so A wants to be with B, but we can't put C there, coz they annoy them, and if we put D and F their DPS is too low so that isn't going to work
Officer Z - you can't put D in group 1 because they aren't turning up on Sunday
Officer - but then group 1 won't have any Bloodlust
Officer Z - you've put too much melee in group 2
Officer - but E has good DPS to balance out D
Officer Z - I don't want to lead the raid, put Officer Y in that group
Officer - G and B are doing the same part of the quest so you can't put them together
Officer Z - well if you don't put them together you won't have enough burst to get the adds down in Phase 2
Officer - well you do it then
Officer Z - I did it last week
Officer - Officer Y can do it
Officer Y - get F&*^ed
Raider - what's taking so long
Officer - just sorting raid groups, just a sec
Raider - why don't you just put A and B together...
Officer - @#$%
Anyway, Hwired, welcome to the nuthouse!
Examples of his dedication:
- 3 days before 4.3 was looking up strats and making notes and installing Dragon Soul raid leading addons
- Turned up Firelands raid on one of our early Firelands attempts with a good group, and stayed as long as he could, AFK'ing every now and then to vomit, and stayed until Domo was dead and then had to leave raid because his headache was so bad he couldn't see or stay away from the sink.
- Passing on Tier to give it to the poor sad resto druid who had not received a single heroic loot after a month doing heroic Firelands
You may THINK this is a great honour, being an officer, but in reality this is what it means:
Scenario 1
Shiny loot drops!
Raider - I'd like to send a tell please
Officer - F%&^ 3 people sent me a tell, and the dkp isn't up to date, who the hell was supposed to be doing DKP yesterday? Yes you already sent me a tell, I'm still checking DKP!
Scenario 2
It's the 10th wipe on a new boss.
Raider - God, XX player you're supposed to be doing YY.
Officer - /thinks to self - God, the whole bunch of you you're supposed to be doing ZZ you idiotic retards, did you not hear me the first 10 times
Scenario 3
Someone is being really loud on vent.
Raider - /can't get a word in
Officer - /w XX - would you please stop pissing everyone off on Vent you're talking over me, I can't hear what people are saying, and I'm going to tell everyone to mute you in a second
Scenario 4
Someone is not pulling their weight in raid
Raider - I was with that person last week
Officer - /sorts through the 12 tells that say that they had to raid with that person last week (and it was a 10 man)
Scenario 5
We are short a tank/healer/dps
Raider - I sat out last week
Officer - /sigh alright I'll respec for the 20th time. GDI the guild bank doesn't pay for respecs /grumble
Scenario 6
Sorting the out raid groups
Raider - /w officer: I want to be with XX, and I don't like playing with YY
(below conversation in officer channel)
Officer - so A wants to be with B, but we can't put C there, coz they annoy them, and if we put D and F their DPS is too low so that isn't going to work
Officer Z - you can't put D in group 1 because they aren't turning up on Sunday
Officer - but then group 1 won't have any Bloodlust
Officer Z - you've put too much melee in group 2
Officer - but E has good DPS to balance out D
Officer Z - I don't want to lead the raid, put Officer Y in that group
Officer - G and B are doing the same part of the quest so you can't put them together
Officer Z - well if you don't put them together you won't have enough burst to get the adds down in Phase 2
Officer - well you do it then
Officer Z - I did it last week
Officer - Officer Y can do it
Officer Y - get F&*^ed
Raider - what's taking so long
Officer - just sorting raid groups, just a sec
Raider - why don't you just put A and B together...
Officer - @#$%
Anyway, Hwired, welcome to the nuthouse!
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I hope these comments work! Not sure why people can't comment lately, it makes me sad :(