Wednesday, May 30, 2012

For the love of Warlock

Despite how the title of this post sounds, I am not saying Warlocks are God.  Nor am I saying that I am somehow in love with some warlock out there because that would probably cause all sorts of marital distress.  What this post IS about is that I can't sleep because I am thinking about Warlocks.  It's 3am and I have to get up to write about Warlocks.

Dave Rapoza's warlock

I blame Amijade.  I have been reading her blog and she is really funny.  Her learn something new post was about learning to play a mage to see how they can stand it.  I laughed all the way through it because she wrote things like this:
...I decided to roll a mage.  When your done laughing, here is my personal goal: roll a mage and try get it to level 20 just to see how the other side can stand it lives. Yes, I chide and kid on our dopey mage friends, but it’s all in good fun. Besides, if it wasn’t for mages who would buy up all those bright, ugly and flowery pastel green level items I sell on the AH...
Kerembeyit's Warlock art for the TCG
It made me think about my own dear warlock friends.  And as I mentioned in an earlier post about the apparent shortage of warlocks (which I don't seem to see), the three warlocks who play very regularly in my guild are not only each a different spec (by choice, not because we made them), but they also have very different personalities.  And those different personalities are now how I see each warlock spec and I can't seem to change my opinion on it, and it has reflected my own future choices of spec for my warlock.


Firstly, the Affliction Warlock personality is personified by Sev.  I'm just going to call him Sev because he has been Sevrus, Sevril, Sevros (though the original is Sevrus, but because of unavailability of name he is stuck with Sevros).  The Affliction Warlock never sits still.  They are always jumping around, fidgeting constantly, looking around.  And they are slow to anger, but can be explosive when angry - much like their damage.  Slow to ramp up but by the end it's a big bang and it hurts.  Of all the warlocks, I can understand this one the best.


Then there is the Destruction Warlock, whose is personified by Aza.  Aza is like an emotional rollercoaster.  He flies from sheer glee and excitement to scary angry frustration, and he never does things by halves, he's passionate and throws himself into everything.  And I mean... everything.  He will throw himself into the path of a boss and pull it because... well because he's a destro lock, he's just Az!  The destro lock smashes things because they are so passionate.  And that's like their damage.  It just is a big smash bang OMG what did they just do I have no idea because they're a warlock.  Sev says Destro warlocks are wannabe fire mages.  See, another one of these warlock/mage jokes.  You always know what a Destro lock is thinking, they don't hide their feelings.  Look at Az now.  He had a wisdom tooth pulled out a few days ago and he has been moaning and groaning about pain and he's hungry.  It's kind of cute actually.  Though when I tried to give some educated medical advice, I don't think anyone was taking me seriously, and it sparked this amusing conversation in raid on Monday:

Aza: My mouth is still bleeding :( There was blood in my soup.
Me: Go and get a tampon and bite on it.
Aza: I don't have any tampons.  Where am I going to get that?
Me: Go and buy some from the chemist. Or Woolworths.
Sev: Nav, you can't ask a guy to buy tampons.  That's just wrong.
Me:  Why not?  Guys can buy tampons.
Sev: You have no idea.  Really.
Me: Hey Falln, if your Mrs asked you to go buy tampons would you go get them?
Falln: OK that's a weird question that came out of nowhere.  Um, I guess so.  If I was doing the groceries I would.
Me (to Sev): See
Falln: Actually I probably would find it easier to by those than frangers or porno magazines, I'd be embarrassed buying those.
Sev (to me): You can't ask him, he's married.
Me: Ok, fine.  Roshii, would you buy tampons for Baha(Souglyy)?
Roshii: Navi...
Me: See, I bet he would
Sev: He's not single Nav.
Me: I bet HK (Lushnek) would.
Lushnek: Uhhh, don't get me involved in this.
Hwired: I can't believe you're embarrassed to buy condoms, and not tampons.
Me: Ohhhhh.  He said FRANGERS.  I thought he said SANGERS, I was wondering why he was embarrassed buying sausages...
(laughter from the boys)
Gutsy: Well you put a franger on sausages Navi.
Me: Who says Frangers anyway?
Hwired: It's a bogan word for condoms Nav.
Falln: Hey, I'm not a bogan.

Anyway, you get the idea, and the conversation was funny at the time!  Ok that diverted me from what I was talking about.  Onto the third warlock.


Ayelena is the quiet, polite gentleman.  Older, more mature, he's level headed.  The opposite of brash.  The opposite of rude.  Where the Affliction warlock is slow to anger, and the Destro warlock is quick to anger, the Demonology warlock is never angry.  He's calm, thick skinned, he just takes it like a man.  Which is what a demonology warlock does perhaps, when I think about it.  They turn into those big demon things with wings and then run around taking it like a... well not a man, like a demon.  And aren't they harder to kill then?  I'm sure they have 600% increase to armour or something, which essentially makes them thick skinned.

Back to the mage/warlock thing.  What is it with the mage and warlock rivalry?  I find it odd because I arena with a mage and a warlock and they are so different.  Maybe because they are both pure caster DPS with 3 talents of different spell types.  I don't know.  Maybe one of them will get on and explain it to me.  Or maybe I can listen to Amijade do a podcast on it.

So, I have been thinking about where I should make my new Warlock.  My character slots are full on my realm.  So I thought I'd pick it on another oceanic server.  So watch this space for when I start levelling my warlock because at least I have one of each class to ask advice from.

Oh, and the best part of the warlocks in my guild?  No, it's not that I am one of the best targets for Dark Intent.  

All 3 of them are regular readers of my blog.  No wonder I love warlocks :D

Ok.  Now I can sleep.

21 comments:

  1. All I can say is you never want to see me angry. Think hulk.

    Ayelena

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    1. @Ayelena - Oh... so no jolly giant? :D

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  2. I was so surprised when I checked and there was a post here AT THIS TIME OF NIGHT!

    I hop you're sleeping now and thoughts of Warlocks don't keep you awake.

    I love Warlocks too, I have three level 85s and a gazillion others of various levels. But this post made me realize don't one is specced Destruction. I'm going to have to read up on them and fix that.

    ROTFL!!! I loved the guild conversation, I'm learning Australian, frangers are condoms and sangers are sausage? I'm totally lost on the bogan part though.

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  3. I just reread that and the spelling makes it look like I'm the one up in the middle of the night!

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  4. @TotA - OMG I just realised how sleepy I was! And hilariously, you were even worse Ancient :D
    And huge mistake - Sangers is actually sandwiches, Bangers are sausages. But I know I did say Sangers in the raid, and we did say sausages, so that was my mix up. Gosh I can't even speak Aussie properly.
    Oh and a Bogan, is... umm, like a redneck? Someone on welfare?

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  5. Navimie,

    Anyone who can't sleep to write about warlocks is truly a friend of mine :) We have that effect on people and it is one of the reasons mages hate us so much. When is the last time a mage did that for you? The old warlock vs. mage controversy truly stems from their jealousy and has been going on ever since I rolled my first 'lock and I'm sure your post will spark a lot of debate about it. Just remember, warlocks don't argue with mages because they are beneath us...we simply point out their flaws.

    Here is some food for thought: Warlocks were born to rule. Mages were born to serve. Mages are the glass-cannon quarter horses, whereas warlocks are the never ending mustangs. If you ever watched the TV show Survivor then we could compare warlocks to the winners who outwit, outplay and outlast, whereas mages are the people to be the first one's voted off the island because of the QQ'ing they do. Mages run away a fight, warlocks run into the heart of the battle. Warlocks fight at the flags, mages prefer to stand around on the road between two nodes. People respect and fear warlocks, with mages they...Hrm...sorry I can't think of anything nice to say on that one :)

    All kidding aside, thanks for a plug and I really enjoyed your post.

    My best...

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    1. Warlocks are the very distantly related emo cousins of mages, as demonstrated by all this negativity and hate. While they skulk around in dark alleys, begging their succubi to whip them good, us mages would much prefer spending time making strudels for all. Who doesn't like strudels!? And who goes around howling terror at people and fearing them away? No wonder warlocks are so emo cos they scare everyone around them away. Whenever I see an angry emo warlock, I just want to turn them into a cute fluffy sheep. And then hurl a big fiery boulder at them. Mmm lamb...

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    2. Oh, and in a game of survivor, I think you might find mages lasting alot longer than warlocks. Mages provide intelligence, which means we'll outwit. We provide instant food, which means we won't die of starvation and hence we'll outlast. And we'll outplay just because we're awesome like that. We'll have the numbers too because who would want to ally with a soul sucking morale destroying warlock? I know I'd side with the guy who can make frosty ice cream cakes in 1.5 seconds.

      Btw love ya Sev, Az and Aye :)

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    3. @Amijade - LOL you were right! Begging for a response!
      @Shab - LMAO brilliant! You made me laugh at work, and everyone asked me what I was laughing at and I sheepishly had to tell them I was reading about World of Warcraft stuff...

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    4. @Navi - I felt the need to defend my class. It got personal when she said that mages fight on the roads in pvp! All lies and slander I say!

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  6. Loved it Navi!! I think its me in a nut shell. =p Off topic, I ate some Coco Pops today, they hurt, but I didn't bleed in them!! =D
    - Aza

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    1. @Aza - I'm glad you feel better today :) You still didn't take my advice about the tampons, however.

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  7. tampons are for nose bleeds nav! not for the mouth!!!

    -Roshii

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  8. Good warlock post Navi - and it was very nice of you to include the fire mages and hunter wanabees too! :p

    Oh and Shab - a warlock and a mage traveled together deep into the Tanaris desert. Lost, thirsty and starving, they would have have died, but with a single word the powerful mage summoned a delicious meal into existence!
    "So" said the mage, "who's the clever one now?".
    "I am" replyed the warlock. "I chose to travel into the desert with a mage, while YOU chose to travel with ME!"

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    1. Well, clearly that mage is a little... remedial. That one must have been dropped on his head when he was a baby.

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  9. Hey Navimie,

    I had a friend who saw your post on warlocks on WoWheadlines. It's a new app for iphones for Warcraft Blogs. It's great and sort of like a feedreader for Warcraft Blogs. Anyway, he tweeted me about your mage friend's response. So of course, I had to stop by again and see :) Sorry but mage rage makes me laugh. I also offer my apologies for filling up your comment section in advance.

    I'm not sure what I find more amusing, the first rantings of your mage friend Shab or the fact that less than an hour later (still seething with jealousy which is obvious) they came back and added more comments. This only strengthens how sometimes the truth can often be painful to some.

    So in order to keep your readers informed properly, I hope you don't mind if I present some more facts to your friend. While I'm sure mages wish that "they" and warlocks were cousins, this is far from the truth. The history of WoW has many examples of other classes leaving their own ilk to try their hand at Warlockery for greater glory and power. From the Shaman's of Draenor to a very well known mage from Dalaran, when other classes attempt to control the power of Fel-Energy it has proven to be disasterous.

    Shad laments about warlocks that he thinks are skulking. Actually, this is ignorance on a mage's part because what we, as warlocks, are doing is strutting. This is often done when one is confident in one's own abilities. Skulking is something mages do when their Blink is on GCD or if the fighting in a BG breaks out too close to them on the road. When it comes to strudels, please have your friend Shad place their table away from the Seafood Magnifique feast before the raid. Mages often do this trick so people accidently click the strudel tray giving them a feeling of self worth.

    Please don't be misguided by the mage propaganda that we, warlocks, use Howl of Terror on everyone. Actually, that ability was designed to clear mages (who can't find their blink button or are too slow in their running away) from a roadway when a warlock's team was moving from node to node in BGs.

    Shad my new mage-y friend, it's okay to be ignorant of warlocks. We keep to ourselves and are not prone to share our craft with people who we are afraid will give us a bad name or steal our secrets. We are not "Emo" as you say. The term Emo dennotes feelings of having a lack of self-worth where one often does torturous things to oneself. Warlocks are the complete opposite. We are confident and bold in the torture and harming of our enemies and not ourselves. A reasonable person can see this difference, and sadly I'm not sure why mages can't. This leads me to believe, that even though they can buff for intelligence, these poor creature fail to use it.

    However, if Shad would like to side with the guy who can make Frosty Ice-Cream Cakes as compared to being sided with a well played warlock, who am I to stop him? If Shad would like a better place to vent his pent-up warlock jealousy and hatred where it can more productive, rather than filling up space on your blog, there is a great warlock QQ'ing forum you can please pass along to him. I have never been there, since I always remain above the fray, but I've heard it was created to be "warlock jealousy" therapy for many mages. The address is: http://www.myprettypony.com

    I would like to thank Shad though. Really, I do ;) His ignorance of the wonderful warlock class and your clever post has inspired an idea for my blog. I'll send you a link when I get it posted. Who knew a mage could actually be helpful?

    /salutes Navimie, Sev, Az & Aye and offers handshake of respect to Shad :P

    My best to you and your friends, always...and thanks for the light-hearted banter!

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    1. Hey, this mage ain't raging, nor do we have any "pent-up warlock jealousy". To the contrary, I think warlocks are the ones with the baggage. Clearly, all of this rage and hatred against mages which has erupted out of the warlock like diarrhoea after a dodgy curry, without any incitement from us mages mind you, demonstrates that warlocks have real EMOtional issues. I would recommend that you shouldn't hold all of these negative EMOtions in. It's not healthy. But I guess it is in your nature to keep all of those EMOtions to yourself. It must be really hard to live like that and I genuinely do feel sorry for you. Actually, I know of one other famous warlock by the name of Professor Sevrus (*cough) Snape. Look at how he skulks around in his black cape and emo Kurt Cobain-esque black hair, constantly seething with anger and holding a grudge against a 12 year old boy. Now that's pretty messed up! Let it go! Now Gandalf on the other hand is a character of honour, integrity and leadership. He even sacrificed himself to save the team. Can't really say a warlock would do the same.

      And just to clarify a few of your "facts".
      - People respect and fear warlocks, just like they do Kim Jong Il. - Warlocks were born to rule. Just like Kim Jong Il.
      - The only thing mages serve are top quality baked goods for the low low price of 16 silver.
      - The only time mages fight on the road between nodes is when there's a warlock standing there by themselves. We just feel the need to put the fool out of their misery.
      - And it's true, warlocks are a confident bunch and with so much self-obsession, I guess they'd love nothing more than to strut down their favourite dark alleyway and have their imp say how awesome they are.

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    2. @Shab - LMAO!!! I have to tell Sev!

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  10. @amijade - LOL woman that was a reply and a half!

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  11. Well well well...
    Before I was a mage I was a Lock (I played a lock since Vanilla days, my 2nd ancient toon since my Hunter back in the days before even AQ was heard of).
    I was quite happy with mage that I made 2, Ksret V1.0 on Illidan since BC, and Ksret V2.0 on Dath'remar in cata (special thanks to Yuda for dragging me around different servers and starting toons from scratch everwhere I go, my first toons are in Blackrock...)

    Looking back on history (Wow histroy that is)...
    Warlocks, just like their signiture spells, are LEECHERS...
    They stole oh, sorry "tapped" power from the demons. All the vast powers they use are not technically their own. And their relationship with their demons is more of a parastic one then one of co-operation like a hunter and his pet. I remember phasing out my imp to use as an unlimited mana battery (Affliction). I never have to really worry about demons dying because I can instantly summon a new one (Demonology). Who cares if there is one less demon in hell. And when I was in destruction spec... I might as well play a fire mage... at least firemages can still use cool spells.

    Lock is nothing without fel-power and fel-power is not their own.

    Mages on the other hand, relies on their own power. They are strong within themselves. They have beneficial skills and buffs for the raid/group. Oh and our buff dont disappear when the summoned demon dies or gets changed.

    Mages pin down their opponents in BG making them sitting ducks for allies or to buy time. They can burst down an annoying healer. Quickly AOE down packs of mobs before the lock's dots tick in or even better Pyro crit + combustion + Impact proc. Works wonders in BG and happens more often than you think.

    Locks on the other hand, howl of terror usually fears mobs into other mob packs. And even in BGs, while they clear the road for a few seconds, that's about all they do. You cant spec to do triple damage or extra crit to feared targets anyway. When the fear wears off, people quickly realise why lock gear also have a lot of stamina, cos they need it.

    Btw locks can also be sheeped and looked kinda cute next to their demon. Even cuter if they are turtled or monkey-ed. Oh I should not insult the animals.

    So I think Locks are mage wannabes... they dont have the power so they sell their soul and tap into fel-energy. And they can be a nuisence in raids. Healers have to heal them up to full health twice after every fight thanks to life tap. Why cant they just eat a strudel and mana up without wasting healer's time.

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    1. @Ksret - Ksret is back! Thank you for joining in on the mage vs warlock conversation, it's really getting interesting! Poor Shab was feeling a bit outnumbered I think, 4 locks vs 1! LOL and some very valid points there! I'm so used to lifetap now, it used to annoy me back in the day... it's amazing what I get used to.

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